Day 8 - Fitting into Size 26 Jeans!

So I went to go weigh myself at the gym on a mechanical scale this morning and right away I noticed it wasn't zeroing properly, so I was having trouble finding my exact weight. I believe it is around 122, which would be about a 6 lb loss since I started dieting last Sunday. That's 6 lbs in 5 diet days, just to be clear.

But, a better way to measure my progress so far would be to say that I am now fitting into my size 26 Rock & Republic jeans again. These have not fit me for several months and have ZERO stretch to them. I still think I could lose a pound or two more for an even better fit (just give me a couple days!), but they were definitely on, and I definitely wore them out in public today, so they couldn't have looked that bad :)

I do want to make a comment about a possible side effect:  last night at about 3 in the morning, I woke up and my right leg was kind of numb. By no means was I paralyzed or in any sort of agonizing pain, it just was abnormal. The source of the "tingle" was around my knee. I sometimes get really painful calf cramps that wake me, but this didn't feel like that at all. Compared to my left leg, my right leg was colder as well. I of course panicked and assumed I was having a blood clot, which can occur when taking hormones. I put on long socks to encourage blood flow and put a pillow under my leg to raise it about 6 inches. I also drank a little bit of water in hopes that it was just a little dehydration? No symptoms today.

I'm really glad that I started this diet prior to 1/1/11, there are so many cliches about dieting and weight loss in reference to the first the year, I'm just glad I'm won't get caught up in the hype and that I stook my health into my own hands, on my own terms. 

That said, for anyone who IS starting tomorrow, GOOD LUCK! Remember, it's a test about self control, don't just give up and give in. Cravings WILL subside, you DON'T have to eat anything you don't want to put in your body. I can honestly vouch, NOTHING tastes as good as skinny feels. Promise.

Talk to you in 2011, everyone!

Day 7 (5th day of dieting)

It's Day 7, but only the 5th day of actually doing the diet. I am still unsure as to how much weight (in pounds) I've lost, but I do feel slimmer, cleaner, and leaner. My body is definitely starting to get used to the eating plan, as I'm not having insane cravings or intense pangs anymore. Yay!

I did go to the gym yesterday. I feel like I should try to incorporate a little light muscle-toning exercises so that the low-calorie diet doesn't deplete my hard-earned muscle :-) I will be weighing in tomorrow morning, since that will mark the completion of one full week since starting the drops. I will let you know the verdict in tomorrow's posting.

One thing I noticed is my short-term memory is a little less sharp than usual. Yesterday, when I was done at the gym, I couldn't remember for the life of me which locker I had put my stuff in! I have no idea if it has anything to do with this, but I'm sure it does. Other than that, still no horrible - or even noticeable - side effects to report.

I bought some ground turkey breast last night as an alternate to chicken and will do something (maybe a patty?) with it tonight. BTW: fresh salsa/pico de gallo is my new best friend. I'm putting it on everything. Today for lunch I have a salad with the allotted amount of strawberries and grilled chicken pieces (100 g). Instead of the 1 tbsp of milk you are allowed each day, I put a dollop of yogurt on my salad so that it would have a little moisture. Not too sure how that will taste, but anything is better than eating leaves!

Can I just say that I'm really proud that I haven't cheated once on this diet?! I am actually quite fearful as to what would happen to my body if I all the sudden ingested junk. My friend who had a slip up said she had some rather unpleasant "GI" problems. Let that be motivation for me to stay on track :-)

Wish me luck this holiday weekend as I brave the temptation to toast!

Day 6

This is by far my favorite meal I've made while on the HCG diet. It consists of 3/4 egg whites (Egg Beaters), 1/2 cup of onion, 1/2 cup of mixed peppers (saute both first), then topped with fresh pico de gallo with lime. It's flavorful, spicy, warm, fluffy, filling, and dead-on with the plan. Best of all, it takes 5 minutes to put together (pending that you have all the ingredients prepped), so it makes it a great after-work meal when I get off the bus and I'm starving!

I have to admit that my energy and patience were both low yesterday during the day. I was hungry, my head hurt a little bit, and I felt like I couldn't focus despite drinking tons of water (which, like I mentioned, is hard for me). But, literally, once I ate the above meal, I felt 100% better. I really think this food plan is the best thing you can do for your body, just probably in slightly larger portions. I got all the nutrients I needed in one powerhouse scramble, how can I beat that?

As such, I actually was able to work out for 30 minutes on the elliptical. It was merely to get my body moving and my heart rate up a little. It was very easy-paced, level 7, read a magazine, barely broke a sweat. I didn't feel like I was going to pass out, nor did I get dizzy, nor was I famished after. I kept a water bottle with me at all times though, I think it's a psychological thing! Note, I did not weigh myself last night at the gym since I ate right before I went. I feel like it's best to weigh yourself first thing in the morning, after going to the bathroom and before consuming water. But, I did notice my gym has a manual scale in addition to the electronic one that I am convinced is skewed. We all know which one I'll be stepping on when I finally weigh in.

Remember, you don't have to work out on this diet, but I thought it would be nice to give my body that added benefit (raise the heart rate slightly, use my muscles a bit) and, who knows, maybe a little exercise will help keep my metabolism in check because I know it's likely tanking with this 500-calorie, no breakfast eating plan.

Good news: I'm starting to miss sugar less and less. I think eventually when I'm able to reincorporate it back into my diet again, I'll be satieted with just a few bites of cake as opposed to the whole slice. Or just one chocolate covered pretzel compared to the whole bag.

This will likely go for all food, as I'm learning to like smaller portions of more natural foods. As a testament to this, when I was on the bus this morning, I saw a poster for some new sandwich at Cosi and it literally disgusted me. That said, my chicken and asparagus for lunch (again) doesn't look too good, but I had to use my veggies before they went bad :-)

Even though I haven't weighed myself, I have more good news: this morning I slipped on a dress that I put on about a month ago and promptly took off because it looked ridiculous. Back then, it was too tight, my stomach pooch was bulging and my butt was all over the place - talk about a hit to your confidence. Today, it fit properly, went on easily, and looked bomb. Not to mention, I'm wearing my hair up today, and for the first time, I'm realizing how great my skin looks after drinking about 55 oz of water a day and eating natural foods. I look enlivened, healthy.

Day 5

Sorry I ate half my lunch before I remembered to take a photo!!

Am I really on Day 5 already? Two more days until it's been a week - at that point, I will anticipate around an 8lb loss so far. Although, I'm not sure if when people claim they lost "8lbs in one week" they are referring to starting on the literal Day-1 (loading day) or if they really mean Day-3, which is the first day on the 500-calorie diet.

I haven't weighed myself yet, even though the diet says to weigh yourself daily. I do not own a scale, but my gym has one - however, I think my gym's scale is off because it's on a squishy, uneven floor. I'm starting to regret not weighing myself to begin with, even though that number would have been hard to look at and slightly discouraging, it's going to skew my ability to provide the most accurate reporting on my journey with this hormone. Sorry in advance about that!

Let's see - a few things to report. I was feeling a little shaky this morning and ate my apple at 10:30 to tide me over. Lunch was delicious! I grilled 100g of chicken and probably a little under 2 cups of aspargus last night and drizzled a fresh pico de gallo over the top. I checked the ingredients in the pico and everything was approved. There was no vinegar or sugar added, so we were golden with the spices, veggies, and lime juice. YUM.

Still haven't been able to go the gym, which is actually okay on this diet. Truthfully, I don't think I'd have enough energy to do anything more than just walk anyways...I don't want to faint or get too hungry later. It just feels weird coming home and not rushing to change my clothes and get a vigorous workout in. I am actually unwinding and taking time to prepare my dinner and lunch for the next day for the first time in a while. It feels good to get my eating back to basics, even though I was mad jealous of my cube-mates who went to get pitas for lunch today!

Egg whites are approved on this diet and so last night I made an omellete. I forgot to photograph it, but will tonight when I make a scramble with peppers, onions, pico and maybe some grilled chicken pieces. It was delicious and a nice texture change to chicken. I will be testing out tilapia next.

NOTE: I've never been much of a water drinker. I'm not someone who just keeps a bottle at her desk and sips all day, but I think that's vitally important on this diet, as I'm not consuming any other liquids (no coffee or tea, even though those are permitted). I have a Camelbak water bottle and am making sure to consume a good amount during the day.

Day 4

Today for lunch I had a "salad" - it consisted of a little under 100 g of grilled chicken, 1/2 cup of mixed peppers, 1/4 cup chopped onions, romain lettue, and a tablespoon of salsa that did not contain vinegar or sugar. Wasn't the most tasty thing in the world, but it was satiating and included a variety of veggies which is important. I thought I would want to eat my apple and my Melba toasts too, but I was full after this! I'm sure I'll need a snack between now and dinner though.

Yesterday after dinner, I got pretty hungry. I didn't eat anything, even though I bet I could have had another apple and still stayed on the plan. The hunger subsided after I went to bed though, and I didn't wake up starving either. The drops this morning did suppress my appetite through lunch, so I wasn't missing my breakfast.

Is it weird that I feel slimmer already? I haven't worked out at all, but I think that's because I'm really not consuming enough calories to get in a vigorous workout like I'm used to. I will try walking on the treadmill after work and dinner if possible.

I also want to note that because I'm not pumping calories and sugar through my veins, I'm finding it easier to go to bed earlier. This diet is really, in a lot of ways, about resetting myself and changing my bad habits. In doing so, I've had to decline two dinner/drink invitations this week, which takes a hit to my social life but I'm okay with that for just 2 weeks. Maybe it's selfish, but I really want to see what results are in store for me, is that so bad? I think to really achieve a goal, you have to set aside time for yourself to focus, and eliminate the things that sidetrack you. In the scheme of things, should I feel bad I turned down drinks with a guy I hardly know? Probably not. I think putting myself first is hugely important to staying on track. I KNOW I CAN DO THIS, so why let others derail me?

Looking forward to weighing in tonight or tomorrow. I'm sorry I didn't post my initial weight, but I knew it would be heartbraking for me. If I were to guess, I'd say around 125+ lbs.  My goal is to lose at least 10.

Day 3 - 1st Day of HCG Diet

Okay, here it goes!

I started my day by drinking water, as there is no real breakfast to be had on this diet. The drops do suppress your appetite, though, so I really wasn't hungry until around 1pm, and even then I wasn't falling over.

For lunch, I grilled a chicken breast. Be careful what seasonings you use, as I reached for my go-to jar of Lawry's and realized there was sugar in it. I quickly traded it for some Montreal Steak Seasoning which had salt, pepper, garlic, paprika...all good/HCG diet approved stuff. I drizzled lemon juice on top and in the pan for added flavor and so it wouldn't stick...didn't use any oil or sprays.

Meanwhile, I boiled some broccoli and added some garlic salt to them on the plate.

I peeled an apple and put 1 Melba toast on the plate as well, as per the diet instructions.

The verdict?
I measured out 100 g of lean meat with my new food scale (which was $4.99 at Bed Bath and Beyond, FYI) and was surprised at how much 4 oz really is. I ate all of it, not because I was ravenous, but because I know how important the lean protein is. I probably consumed 3/4 cups of the broccoli (supposed to have 2, but I was stuffed). I ate 3/4 the apple and will eat the rest with my dinner or as a snack before then. I dropped the Melba toast on the floor as I was putting it in my mouth, so I didn't have it with my lunch :-) I will probably have one between now and my dinner if I get hungry. I drank water this meal.

Honestly, I'm full. It's a LOT of food. Look at my plate - that's a standard 8" dinner plate, full of 4 food groups!

My biggest fear is that my sweets cravings will come over me like a junkie, but I will research ways to fight them. Got any tips?

Will take the drops again around 2pm. No vigorous exercise, but might walk on the treadmill if I feel cabin fever coming over me.

Day 2 - Loading

Merry Christmas, everyone!

I'm now on Day 2, which lucky for me is still at loading day because last night I ate like it was my job. Everything from flat iron steaks to yummy, creamy appetizers, to desserts for an army. I didn't feel guilty at all about it because I am doing exactly what this plan is requesting of me. For once, it felt nice to indulge with my family and not feel bad or come down on myself. This is a great feeling, even though the weight loss has not yet begun.

On that note, Tomorrow is only a day away. I can't believe that I will go from eating pierogies dipped in butter to grilled lean meat and veggies only in less than 24 hours. What a radical change! Thank goodness I will have my blog to keep me accounted for, as I will not let you down.

I want to continue a note from yesterday about the difficulty of keeping the drops under your tongue with all the saliva building. I find that doing a hard swallow right before a or forceful spit (again, sorry to sound dirty!) helps. I wasn't making a conscious effort yesterday to get my mouth as dry as possible before administering the drops, but today was much easier. I've been keeping the drops in for about 7-10 minutes, and today I decided to swallow them after the time was up - this was a result of some online research and my friend swallows them as well. I figure it can't really hurt because by that time, they're watered down a bit anyway. Note: Usually, I'll put them in and then go do something such as take a bath or check my email so that I'm not counting down the clock.

Also wanted to comment there's a slight tingle/burn (don't freak out, nothing painful) that hits that part of your mouth when you apply the drops. I reminds me of how your gums feel when you put white strips on.
I have one more set to today, then tomorrow begins with purchasing a food scale from Bed Bath and Beyond before lunch time and preparing my first meal on the HCG diet plan. I will let you know what brand/model number I purchase in case you are interested in the same...not planning on spending more than $20 for this.

Hope everyone got what they wanted for Christmas, I know my wish will come true starting this week.

Day 1 - Loading

I woke up this morning a little later than I wanted because I was out partying last night - sue me, it was my gay boss' birthday. I'll consider it one last hurrah before I  start this beast of a plan :-)

I started with 10 drops under the tongue at 10:30. For the most part, there is no smell or taste to them. I felt a little sensation while they "marinated" there, but nothing markedly terrible by any means.

The hardest part was to keep your tongue curled up while the drops dissolve. Saliva collects and I'm not sure if at the end of the 5 minutes, you are supposed to spit or swallow. Sounds dirty, but I spit this time ;-)

I believe I will take the drops again at around 3:00 and then before I go to bed, but I am hoping to switch to a more rigid 8:00 -12:00 - 6:00pm drops schedule after the next two days.

For those of you wondering why the hell you would start a diet on Christmas Eve, it's because on the plan, you begin with 2 "loading days". I figured that between Christmas Eve dinner, Christmas day breakfast, and Christmas dinner, I would get all the loading a girl could possibly hope for.  I also think I will be naturally so disgusted by food by the time this gluttonous holiday weekend is over, it will be quite easy for me to tone down on the eating. Same thing happened after Thanksgiving, kicked the health into high gear, but didn't lose a pound.

Since today I can still eat whatever I want, I'm not sure there will be anything worth mentioning more in this post. If so, I will pop back on later and edit.

Feel free to leave any questions or comments and I'll get back to them.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

HCG - starts tomorrow

After much ado from my best friend about HCG (yes, the pregnancy hormone), I decided to try it. My first day is tomorrow.

Here's why:

As a 5'3", 24-year-old girl, I've always been about 115 lbs, exercising on-average about 45-60 minutes per day, most days of the week. My personal best was when I was training and hardly eating and I weighed in at 104lbs. Let's be frank, you can't realistically sustain that on the account of, well, hunger. Earlier this year, I had to get some surgery, which set me back 6-8 weeks for a recovery period. I was not able to exercise during this time and I was quite depressed so I found myself eating and drinking more than normal. I naturally put on weight and was never able to bounce back, even though I resumed eating pretty healthfully and exercising 45-60 minutes a day.

Most of my jeans are too tight now and my self-esteem is down. I tried cutting out carbs and sweets and exercising daily (sometimes twice) for 14 days and I didn't lose anything.

At the risk of sounding like an infomercial, best friend found herself in a similar situation before and did this diet with no side effects and tons of results. Together, we purchased a bottle of HCG (one for each of us) and are planning to start together tomorrow.

I will chronicle the details of this new diet treatment daily and honestly as a log for myself and for those of you who are curious about HCG. It is not FDA approved and the jury is still out on its long-term effects, but I am willing to try it out and report on every last detail, as I know I would have loved someone to do this for me when I was in the decision phase.

My diet - and my details - start tomorrow.

Do Yourself A Favor

Since eating healthy has now become a habit for me, keeping my calories in check during the day is no longer a challenge for me quite like it was at this point last week.

However, this weekend I allowed myself a treat. Some dark chocolate Hershey's Pieces candy. Don't freak it out, I didn't splurge and go hog wild. I simply adjusted my calories, eating less "real food" to accomodate for the treat I planned on having.

With it being Monday again, it's time to get cut that shit out. And although I didn't snack today and could afford a handful of pieces, I have identified those little chocolate nuggets as a slippery slope food for me - especially on days like today where work was hellacious and I want so badly to convince myself that I deserve it. I even tried reasoning with myself, saying I'd have 10 pieces and call it good. But I don't know if I could do that for sure. So I will do myself the favor and avoid completley.

Sometimes you have to be honest with yourself about what is feasible and what is not. Just admit it when there's a food you may or may not be able to control yourself around - and avoid it. That simple. Remind yourself how hard you've worked for healthy eating to become seamless, and then don't ruin it with mindless noshing.

On a side note, I definitely felt the effects of incorporating sugary treats into my diet this Monday morning. I had NO energy, was "irregular," and felt toxic on the inside. To be honest, despite the craving, I'm excited to get back to feeling clean and lean.

Progress Makes Perfect

Well, I've officially been eating lean and clean now for the entire work week. In my opinion, when if you are able to give up some of the most delicious foods known to mankind for even just five days, it makes you an authority on healthy eating. So here are some of the tactics I can now say, "I swear by."


1) Write down everything that goes into your mouth and how many calories it had.
I know it sounds neurotic, but I assure you, that's the point. "How the hell am I supposed to know how many calories are in 6 BBQ Jimmy John's chips?" you ask? Well, you're not. So it forces you to go through the process of researching the nutrition information, and then following that up with some mathematics to figure out the exact calories per your unique 6-chip portion. Sounds like a hassle, huh? It is. So skip the chips and half a clementine instead (20 cals).

2) Reward yourself early, reward yourself often.
Believe it or not, I used the gold old star-sticker strategy to reward myself throughout this journey. Yup, every time I reached a goal, I put a yellow star sticker on my progress sheet. At first I said, "I'll put a sticker down if I reach my goal for the day." But then I realized, a day is a long time, ladies and gentlemen. Think about it: every day, you have to keep your willpower in check for 1,440 consecutive minutes. And believe me, a few of those are going to be haunted by cravings for Oreos. So I figured, if I made it through breakfast without going beyone 200 calories or incorporating a few peanut butter M & M's before noon...STICKER. If I had my salad and fiber bar for lunch and refrained from taking a trip to the vending machine...STICKER. If I got home and prepared my own dinner aside my Mom and Dad who were busy chowing on cheese toretellini...STICKER. Some days,I would rack up 6 stickers, but it worked. I have never come across a meal (or day, for that matter) that I didn't earn my sticker. I know a sticker can't buy me shoes and doesn't have any value in the real world, but mentally, getting a sticker was like winning the lotto. Create your own value system and reward often in the beginning to keep yourself on track.

3) Always order the small.
I haven't eaten out much this week, for obvious reasons. But I did head to Jamba Juice this morning for a little pick-me-up. Normally I get the medium (24 oz.). Sometimes I get a large (32?). But today I got the small. After 16 oz., I felt full enough, got my serving of fruit, boosted my immunity and it only cost me 150 calories. What I'm realizing is that whether it's a tall latte, a small cup of fro-yo, a smoothie, or an order of fries - there really is no reason ever to order bigger than a size small. I firmly believe it should never be your goal to "feel full" after eating, it's to feel full enough. And that's precisely what the purpose of ordering the small is. Bring food back down to it's basics - it's fuel for your body to function. When you fill up your gas tank, you stop at the point where it's full enough. You don't keep filling when it already has enough to do it's job, right? Same thing goes for food.

4) Think about things from a medical standpoint.
I often thought about what my body would go through in the time after I would ingest some calorie bomb like a greasy burger or chocolate lava cake. I'm convinced foods like these send your body into some serious shock. All your internal systems must go into overdrive figuring out how to process the contamination - it's like an oil spill in your body and let's just say...clean up is a bitch. Your body does you a lot of favors in life, do one for it. Give it foods that are easy to process and help it function better over all. How simple is that?

5) Keep it to yourself.
This next one is going to sound like an oxymoron since I'm writing a public blog about my experiences. However, if you remember my very first post, I declared the purposed of doing this was more for me - to hold myself accountable by putting words on paper. Kind of like a contract. But as far as telling people about eating less and working out more, or the details of how my pants are fitting on a daily basis, or complaining about calories or being hungry, etc. etc. etc., I just keep this process to myself and battle for a better body on my own. The less I talk about it in the open, the less excruciating dieting seems. Plus, people get diet envy. Most people, your friends and family included, probably don't have the willpower you are mustering up right now, so the fact that you have it is definitely something to envy. Don't let anyone throw your game in a fit of jealousy. Keep on track by keeping your mouth zipped.
There you have it. I'll reflect more next week.
Anything is possible:
Monday's starting weight- 120
Friday's starting weight- 115

A Little Psychology 101 For You

Back in college, I took a basic behavioral psychology class. It explained a lot of things in the way of why people do what they do.

One thing in particular that I retained (one thing out of a $100,000 education ain't bad, right?) is that it takes people THREE times of doing a certain action for it to register as an actualized habit.

Well, I've officially gone three full days on this diet plan. So let's hope healthy eating has become a habit for me now, and that I find it as easy to stick to as brushing my teeth or any of the other routine actions I've cemented into my life due to sheer repetition.

New Rule

Every time I take a bathroom break, I do 25 squats. From brushing teeth to pee breaks at work, I don't come out until I finish 25 squats.

Be full, not fat.

This is getting a lot easier. I'm convinced that by cleansing my diet and pairing it down to eating only good-for-you foods, I actually don't feel as hungry as I thought I would. The foods I'm choosing to ingest have really great "bang-for-your-buck" qualities, so I fill up on less and have more energy overall.

I know, this sounds like a testimonial that would go in SELF magazine, but I'm speaking the truth from what I've observed so far.

You want to know what else is crazy? I haven't even been craving, let alone desiring, foods like French Fries, Jimmy John's subs, or Dairy Queen Blizzards. I just feel like, "What's the point?" - I'm not going to be full, just fat.

Eating less makes you cherish (read: enjoy) the food you do get to have. Just give your healthy eating plan some time to kick in.

Taking the Easy Way Out

Zoning out on the train ride to work today, I let my mind drift a little. And no, this had nothing to do with it being 4/20.

I thought to myself, "What's so hard about NOT doing something?" All day long I do difficult things when I'd rather just be sitting around doing nothing at all. So when it comes to NOT putting shit-food into my hand, then mouth, then body...or NOT going over to the cabinet, pulling out the bag of Reeses Pieces, emptying some into my hand, and reclipping the bag shut...why is it that I don't pass up the opportunity to do nothing?

I guess the same can be said for people who can't resist calling or texting an ex. I mean, really, it would be a lot easier to just not open up a new text message template, type-backspace-type all your enraged words, then go through the phonebook, select him, send, and spend the next undetermined amount of minutes/hours/days in unsettled silence. Right?

But we do it anyways. And as an actively lazy  member in today's American society, it makes no sense to me how we go about selecting the action items in our lives.

Nonetheless, I'm changing the meaning behind taking the easy way out. This no longer means having dessert just because, or eating the Oreos because they are there. My strategy is a whole  lot easier than that. My strategy is removing the thought from my mind all togther.

And who doesn't enjoy having one less thing to worry about?

The Fridge Is Haunting Me...just sharing.

There's Buca Di Beppo leftovers in my fridge right now. Enough said.

I figured if I keep my hands on the keyboard, I'll keep them out of the fridge - hence, this posting. I have to remember, CLEAN AND LEAN ONLY. Buca cream sauce and penne pasta at 11pm is neither, take my word for it.

Good night folks. Even though I'm a little hungrier than normal, I can go to sleep with a clean concious and diet for the day. That feels nice.

It's (unfortunately) Time.

I remember a time - long, long ago - where, believe it or not, I never thought about my body. I ordered what I wanted off the menu (namely cheese fries and a chocolate malt), didn't ask for half my meal to be boxed up, and somehow still remained about 100 lbs.

Then I went to college. And before you guess where this is going, guess again. I actually managed to stay in shape. I blame it on filling my curriculum with exercise science classes and finally learning the true evil behind a calorie. I became paranoid. Food in meant calories out. And I stuck to my routine like a drill sergeant, somehow winding up well below my ideal body weight and looking like a tree with branches for limb instead of a woman with some nice curves.

Don't worry, that didn't last long. I took a job as a senior in college waiting at an upscale steakhouse. Everyday, every item on the menu was prepared and put on the line for us to do "Taste Plate." That meant that every member on the floor that night had to take a handful of forks and take one bite of everything to determine unanimously whether or not the dish could be served. This was the restaurant's way of making sure everything was up-to-par for the patrons. This was my way of gaining 15 lbs.

And because I rushed from school to work, and got off around 11pm each night, I didn't have time to throw down at the gym. I considered all the walking I did in the restaurant my workout, and called it good. And to celebrate a hard night's work, I'd head out with the rest of the servers and get tanked on sugary cocktails. Lovely.

Soon after, January First was rolling around and so was the skin around my stomach. I had never been that out of shape. I couldn't even remember the last time I spend 30 minutes on an elliptical. And I stopped wearing anything but sweatpants and my work uniform. As such, I decided to go to 24-Hour Fitness and sign up for a gym membership and a trainer.

Working with my trainer was the best experience of my life. He had designed both a workout and an eating plan for me to follow. On days that we didn't train, he would text me to make sure I had hit my calorie burn and that I was eating regularly. In just 2 weeks, the weight had literally peeled off. I remember looking in the mirror while on the stair-master not seeing my butt anymore. I received comment after comment from friends about how "noticeably leaner" I was. And best of all, I had nothing to wear - everything was too big on me.

Then I met my ex-boyfriend and stopped seeing my trainer all together. In the beginning of our relationship, I was completely blinded by love and would gladly go for midnight runs to Sonic if only it meant spending time with him. A couple months of this, and there I was - back out of shape. I never lost the weight again. In fact, whenever I would think back to the time I was 105lbs, I simply said to myself, "I was too skinny anyways."

Bullshit. I looked and felt great. I was eating clean and lean and looking my best.

Let's fast-forward now to the present day. I have no idea what the scale would say, in fact, I don't even need to know a number - I have words for my current weight: Not Good. What is good is the way I dress. It masks everything to the public eye, leaving me and excess skin to meet up at the end of each day. This secret rendezvous has to stop. I need to start dieting.

For me, I know food is my downfall. There's not a day that goes by that I don't blow healthy eating habits on something from the vending machine, a cookie from my parent's pantry, or donuts in the breakroom at work. I don't eat to cover up pain or deal with stress, I just haven't accepted that "my metabolism" and "calories from shitty food" must have had a falling out somewhere along the way. And now I simply have to revert back to the olden days. I need to combine my knowledge of exercise science with my former drill sergeant attitude and clean up shop. Period.

I don't know if anyone will read this blog. In an effort to not be "that girl," I sort of hope not to be honest. But you know what? Words on paper (read: screen) have held people accountable for many things in the past, and thus I feel it is the best system for me to keep on track. So mark these words - banging body, here I come. And here's how it's starting:

Week One Goal: Detox
Consists of...

• eating balanced foods
• cutting out sweets
• preparing smaller portions
• eating until 80 percent full
• eating slower
• not binge drinking (FML)

I will also be privately logging what I eat from now on, along with the caloric intake. This will force me to do math, which in turn will make me much crankier than being hungry. Heads up, everyone - and a special sorry to those who work with me.

My goal for today: don't blow it.

See you tomorrow.

(PS: if you want to know about the specific foods I'm eating, just send me a message and I'll be glad to share.)